Empathy Is Not Oversharing: Redefining Trust in Leadership

Empathy is often misunderstood.

We talk a lot about vulnerability, authenticity, and “being real,” especially in leadership. And while those are powerful values, I’ve noticed something lately: empathy keeps getting confused with oversharing.

The truth is, they’re not the same. 

Empathy is a skill. Oversharing is a reaction. And when we blur the lines between the two, we risk creating discomfort instead of connection.

Oversharing isn’t vulnerability.

Vulnerability is intentional and grounded. Oversharing, especially in professional settings, can happen when we’re trying to build connection too quickly, or when we haven’t fully processed what we’re sharing.

Oversharing often centers the speaker. It asks others to carry emotional weight they didn’t agree to hold. In leadership, this can put pressure on teams and blur boundaries.

Empathy is different.

Empathy says,
"I see you."
"You don’t owe me the full story."
"You don’t have to explain for me to care."

Empathy is trust extended, not details required.

When you lead with empathy, you’re building a foundation of safety, not by asking people to disclose more, but by showing up with presence and care.

It’s the quiet check-in after a meeting.
It’s the “I believe you” instead of “walk me through it.”
It’s the willingness to hold space without needing to fill it.

Empathy is trusting someone’s experience without making them prove it.

That’s where real connection happens.

How to model empathy at work without oversharing

• Let others speak first. And then really listen.

• Create space for emotion without trying to fix it.

• Respect boundaries: your own and others'.

• Offer support without expecting details.

You don’t have to share everything to be supportive.
You don’t have to be emotionally exposed to be human.

Empathy creates safety. Oversharing can create confusion.

In a culture that celebrates openness, we sometimes forget that true leadership isn’t about saying more. It’s about being the kind of presence that helps others feel safe saying what they need or nothing at all.

Let’s normalize trust without explanation.
Let’s lead with empathy, not pressure.
Let’s remember that showing up with care is always enough.